WhatIsBeautiful?

    I write this using my own personal experience. I write this using my own fears, faults, and trials. I have always wondered what it would be like to be beautiful. What it would be like to be a supermodel. I have always wanted to be that tall, skinny, and gorgeous girl that everyone admired for her looks. But I've thought some more about this and I think my perception has changed. 

     You always have those people that compliment you on your beauty and all you can do is say, "No... ". Never really thought about it until now. I always thought that I wasn't pretty. I was never skinny and I'm still not. My hair never cooperates. My thighs have cellulite. I cry during bathing suit season. And sometimes shopping for clothes, though it's my favorite hobby, makes me terribly depressed because of the number size I have to chose. But lets think about this. Where are we getting our definition of beauty? Do we get it from the media, if so they have the most flawed definition. Do we get it from our peers? If we get negative feedback from them, maybe they aren't the best people to be around for our own health. Where do we get this definition of beauty? Why is it that when someone says someone is "beautiful" that we automatically think of a brilliant white smile, flawless skin, a small waist, perfect hair, and just an overall stunning appearance. Why is it that we focus so much on materialistic looks, that we forget the other beautiful traits we all have. We are constantly letting media feed us negative images of ourselves and giving us these gorgeous models to look at. Well, lets face it! If everybody looked like models, there wouldn't be a career in that field! And you know what, good for them if they're a size 2 and don't have to wash their face before bed to avoid getting zits. BUT THAT ISN'T EVERYBODY. 

     We need to stop putting this standard of beauty in our mind! We all need to focus on the positives of ourselves that make us beautiful! Seriously, write a list of all the positive things people have said about you or that you think are beautiful of yourself. I'll start.

• I have golden brown eyes, that I truly like.
• I have this red, natural tint in my hair that only shows when the sun is on it.
• I have freckles on my face and I think they're cute
• I am tall
• I sing well
• I make a good first impression
• I've been complimented on how kind I am to everyone, even if I don't know them
• I have an outgoing and loud personality
• I have straight white teeth and I've never had to wear braces
• I think my eyes are perfectly shaped for the application of all makeup
• My hands and feet are proportionate to my body

Now to some, this list may seem conceited but for me it was hard to write. I have never tried to think about what is beautiful in my life, I typically only focused on the negative and that's where people go wrong. That's when we lose any sliver of self confidence that we may have ever had. So think about it, where are you getting your definition of beauty. 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

I'mEngaged!

     I am engaged! As of March 19th, 2013 at like 1:15, I AM ENGAGED! I don't think I can describe how glorious this feels. But what I can do is describe to you how it happened so that you can gauge your emotions off of the days events.

    For months and days Taylor had been bugging me about getting some good pictures of us. He kept asking if I would feel comfortable with his friends doing it, my friends doing it, or our mothers doing it, but I just blew him off and saying "no...", "no....", "not today...", "maybe later...". I just thought it would be awkward, ya know? To have one our friends take pictures of us just because? Not my thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good picture, but I only like it if there is like a special occasion or something. So we never took any pictures... Well, Spring Break rolled around for us two and we were supposed to work a camp at Diamond H, but life kind of hit the both of us and we couldn't dedicate our time to that. I ended up visiting him and we talked about what we were going to do to keep up occupied. He came up with the brilliant idea of taking pictures at the Myriad Gardens in OKC (Of course he wanted to take pictures). I finally just agreed to go take pictures and we could just use my camera and my tripod and that way there wasn't an awkward third wheel around. Well, Tuesday (the day of pictures) rolled around and we both got ready. I decided to wear a nice-ish dress (which I never do) and he wore a polo and jeans (this boy hardly wears polos). As we were leaving his house for the city, I realized I hadn't painted my nails and thought hard about making him turn around and go back to his house, just so I could grab some nail polish... But I decided against it and figured nobody would be looking that hard anyways. Before we got to the city we went to Arcadia and stopped at the Round Barn and Pops, seeing as how he had never been. We were already having a really good time! Once we got to Bricktown, we decided to park at Bass Pro (because it was free) and just walk to the Myriad Gardens. MAN! It was WINDY! (Go figure that in the state of Oklahoma it would be windy.) But I stuck it out, while holding my dress down with one hand and holding his hand in my other. We finally arrived at the Myriad Gardens and went inside (it is really nice since it has been remodeled!). We walked around and I took a gajillion pictures of flowers and such and then we finished. Taylor had the idea of going to the lower level outside to take pictures, so out we went. For some reason my mood kept getting weirder and weirder. I was on the verge of grumpy and Taylor sensed it and kept asking what was wrong. Well, I don't know why that set me off but every time he asked I got weirder and weirder. Anyways, we began to take our pictures. We got to a place where I had my tripod set up facing the Devon Tower and the back half of the Gardens. The camera was set up for self timing and so we stood there and let it take our pictures. Then, Taylor wanted to use his Go-Pro to take a few. While he was setting up his camera my back was to him and I was admiring the Devon Tower (first time for me to see it so closely), he walked over and we posed... The camera wasn't blinking nor did it take our picture. So, Taylor walked back over to fix it and I went back to glancing at the tower. As he was walking back, I turned back to face the camera and once he reached me, he dropped to one knee with a little box opened in his hand. I. WAS. SHOCKED. I vaguely remember hearing the words "Alexandria Lei Neighbors....Marry Me". I think that there might have been other words in his sentence, but I only remember everything in my head was so loud, or did everything get quiet? I stood there with my hands flexed out at my side just staring at the beautiful ring in the box, asking myself "Is this real? Is this seriously happening?" and after standing there silent, for what felt like a good 10 minutes (don't worry it wasn't that long), I told myself "Hey... you might want to answer him". I could barely squeak out a yes and nod my head! I was speechless! ME! The queen of Gab was speechless! He slid that gorgeous ring on my finger and wrapped his arms around me! I couldn't knock that stupid grin off of my face! He had proposed and I had said YES! :) I literally was speechless for a good hour with the occasional squeak of a word that came out of my mouth. I think what made the whole event even better was the fact that he was walking around like the proudest man in the world! I had never seen him so carefree and genuinely happy! He couldn't stop smiling and neither could I! 

    Later, when we finally made it back to his pick-up we had phone calls to make (to family, we couldn't post it on Facebook until we had contacted them, duh that would just be rude). When we called his parents they were so happy. Of course they knew about it, but nonetheless they sounded so happy for us. His dad told me the sweetest thing anybody could ever say, which was "Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to the family. We are so very honored to have you join it." My heart was melting. 

     After finishing up all the phone calls and texts (we left out my mom), we headed over to my moms work to "bring her a drink". We waited around in her office until she showed up and when I handed her the drink, I expected her to see the ring! But, she didn't. :| So  when I was hugging her, I tried to press it into her hand so she'd feel it, but she didn't. Finally, While hugging her I gently patted her face with the back side of my hand and she felt it! She looked at it and started crying! (And for your information, no I didn't cry when he asked I just smiled like a stupid idiot) My mom was so thrilled and so was/am I!

     I think what takes me by surprise now is the fact that Taylor had been planning this for awhile! EVERYBODY knew! My own roommates knew and some how managed not to spill the beans AND make it seem like I was never getting engaged! I honestly thought that I wasn't going to be engaged until my senior year of college, but here I am sitting here with a beautiful engagement ring on my left ring finger and a silly smile on my face. 

     The more I think about being engaged, the more I smile. I couldn't ask for a better man than Taylor, and quite honestly I don't think that there is one. I am so overwhelmingly happy and thrilled. It feels odd to be engaged, but it's also so very comforting knowing that I am one step closer to being with my best friend for the rest of my life. ♥