TillDeathDoUsPart

     So for those of you who don't know me, My parental units are divorced. Yeah it sucks but I don't want a pity party. It's just one of those things. God doesn't ever do anything for no reason, there is always a reason behind everything. It happened when I was 11 years old, I know some details but who knows if they're true. I'm kind of at a point in life where when somebody says "I'll tell you when you're older" I want to throw a chair at them and ask, "So you're gonna tell me after you're dead???" Makes no sense to me. I'm an adult, I shouldn't be told that I will be told later because I'm not old enough to hear the truth now. And anything I was told when I was 11 wasn't taken to heart, merely because at that point I was too YOUNG but I also realized that some of the reasons they told me could've been false because they could've been spoken out of anger or resentment towards the other. But now I just want answers, I would like to know why my parents split. Not because I want to take sides. Not because I want to feel sorry for somebody, but because I want to know and deserve to know at least the truth. I've grown up for years with confusion and wonder and now I want some answers. I'm not asking for them to be promptly given to me, but I am at least asking for them to consider telling me within the next few years. I understand if they're hurt or if they want to protect me, but with me being an adult now I should be able to handle anything I ask for. I do not ask this of them to bring out old pains or to dig into the past, I would never want to hurt either of my parents. I just want to know.

     Divorce is something that not only effects the adults, monetary situations, and living situations. If you have animals it effects them, if you have lots of the same friends it effects them, and if you have children it ESPECIALLY effects them.  Kids will wonder if it is there fault and even if you constantly tell them it's not, they still wonder if it is. They try and stay out of your way as much as possible because they're afraid that if they do anything wrong at all that you wouldn't like them and disown them just like you did to your ex-spouse. There is no way to prevent your child from feeling this, there is no way at all except to let them live their life, be there for them, and be civil with your ex. It's one thing to be angry with your ex but you should NEVER EVER let your children see that. If you can't speak to each other, don't. Just do NOT yell at one another with your children present or in ear shot or in a situation where it will get back to them. Never feed them false or degrading information about your ex. Just don't do it.

     I'm not saying that my parents did this because they didn't. They are civil, they talk, and they were constantly there for me. The did all they could seeing as how the situation wasn't ideal. And I applaud them for that. It is very admirable. I just wanted to let all of you know that children do get hurt whether you mean for them to or not. And for all of you parents or adults who intentionally hurt children, you SUCK. 

     I realize this post is so long, but I felt like I just had to write it. I love my parents, I just want the truth. After my parents got divorced my mom married my step-dad. I literally did not like that man. I've learned to respect and even care for him. But when you're 11 years old and you think that your parents have the perfect marriage, then BAM! they're getting a divorce, you become mad at the world. You're mad at them, you're mad at yourself, and you're mad at whoever else comes into the picture. The reason for the last one is because your young mind sees them as replacing whichever parent. And I'm not saying all kids with divorced parents go through this. Some are happy because they didn't like a certain parent and some even use the divorce to their advantage. I mean who doesn't want a double Christmas and double presents? But these are the things and events that happened to ME.

     I love you Mom and Dad. Just sometimes I'm confused and I want to know the whole truth. I want to know if you were unhappy with each other, I want to know the marriage problems, I want to know what y'all did to make each other not love each other anymore. Because though I love you, I want my marriage to last. I want to be that old lady who has been married to her husband for 85 years of her life and is still deeply in love with him. And I understand that sometimes you just can't be with a person anymore, but I just want to know what I need to know to look for in a person so I can BE with them for more than just a few years. I want that fairy tale Love, I want to argue but then realize we were both being dumb and that we still love each other, I want to mean it when I say, "Till Death Do Us Part."