WillSomebodyListenToThem.

The town of Edmond has been struck hard by suicides these past couple of months. 4 suicides? How is this even possible? That has gotten me to think over how kids are treated in our society and do parents even listen to these children anymore?


When I was in middle school, yeah it sucked. You're at the stage in life when everything is changing. Your body, your friends, maybe even your school. I was one of those kids who moved my middle school years to a new town. That was rough, I had to start the worst two years of my life at a school where I didn't know a single person. I felt like an outcast on the very first day. It was hard, but eventually I met new friends... But they weren't the best, but I think it was because of the stage we were in. I think almost everybody goes through a stage in life where there experiment with cussing, if not well then I guess I'm the only one! But anyways,  I had some new friends and oh how I loved them! We were joined at the hip, never left each others side. But during the first year of my life in that middle school I was already kind of an angry child. My parents had just divorced and I despised my step-dad (I'm not going to touch on that). I was angry at the world, but I also think hormones that accompanied my changing body had something to do with it. I cussed around my friends and I cussed when I wasn't around my parents. I wasn't the kind of person I wanted to be around and now, I definitely know that wasn't a good time in my life. 


You read that last sentence and ask "How can she know it wasn't a good time in her life when she was only like 12 or 13, she can't have a bad time yet she's too young!" Well let me tell you something if you don't remember it for yourself: Your body changes so you feel so different, you make up for that in maybe a not so great attitude, and then the ones around you that were actually your friends start to turn on you because you aren't being nice, and that makes your self-confidence go even lower because your'e already changing so losing your friends doesn't help with that and you feel like something is even more wrong with you. You hate on your body image, you hate on yourself. You see these other girls changing. They start wearing makeup, dying their hair, tanning, wearing clothes from Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch, they grow boobs, and start dating. And you may be the one "loser" that doesn't have or do any of that. You tell your parents that you wish you were like them and they always tell you the same line " In time honey" or "You don't need to look like them, you are your own self" and yes while those words are so true, when you're 12 and 13 you don't care about being yourself, you only want to fit in. If you fit in you won't be considered prey. You won't be hunted down by the "populars" or you won't be mocked by the "weird kids". But I am also going to tell you that the first thing wrong here are the labels. Nobody should be labeled popular, weird, outcast, jock, nerd, sluts, etc. This shouldn't even be an option, but it is. It's all around us. When you're that age and you see a kid that answers the questions every time you label them the nerd, when that one girl with the big boobs and the reputation of boyfriends gives a secret note to a basketball player you label her a slut. This needs to end before we can put an end to anything else.


Another thing though is that these kids that feel this pressure cannot simply put away the pain and labeling unless someone is there for them. These kids go to a school with several hundred to thousands of kids. Sure, it's a hard task to try and pin point every kid with a problem because some of them do not show it in a outwardly way (and face it when they do, most people write them off as the kids who just want attention). But somebody has to see something! Whether that person is a teacher, friend, family member, lady at Wal-Mart, somebody somewhere has to be noticing or seeing something! The ones suffering this internal depression may not tell you with their voice, but look at them, watch them, LISTEN to their hearts. You know your friends/daughters/sons/nieces/nephews/students/grandchildren so when they begin to change just watch them. You don't have to hound them every chance you get by asking them if they're okay or if they want to talk, but just let them know that you'll always be there for them. Don't ignore them. Try not to yell when things go wrong (things in life will go wrong). As long as they know that people actually care about them not matter how awkward or ugly they feel inside and out, I believe that little bit could do a whole lot. 


If I had the power I would change our media of today. These kids (and even adults) see suicide as an easy fix. But suicide is merely a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The T.V. shows we see have so much pressure on us to be these beautiful, plastic, model worthy creatures and we are not nor will we never be. Why has the world come to such extremes. These kids are learning things that they shouldn't even have to see. Girls think that to be pretty they have to be a size 0, wear the whole makeup counter on their face, dye their hair until it fries off their head, and dress in all name brands. What ever happened to  the nature of having a nice personality and kind heart making you beautiful? We as girls (as humans really) are so judgmental and I'm not saying I'm innocent of it. I'm bad at judging people and I will fess up to it. It's a horrible trait to have, but maybe we do it because we feel the pressure to be so much better than that other person that we have to put them down until we feel better?


When you're in the store, at school, on the street, etc... be nice to everybody because you never know what their story is. I remembered reading a story one time about a boy who was nice to another kid and unknowingly stopped this kid from committing suicide by just being nice. That boy finally realized that the world is not full of mean people and cruel things all of the time and that somebody will actually listen. I don't care if you're the Queen of Sheba or Elvis himself, BE NICE. You never know the impact you will have on somebody's life with a simple smile and a small conversation. You never know how bad that person's day has been. I will always stand by the saying: Never judge a person before you have walked a mile in their shoes. Their shoes may be rugged and holey, but those shoes may be shoes that go to school from 8am to 3pm and then walk to Wal-Mart to work from 3:30pm to 5am just to support their family. You never know if those lip-glossed lips and heavily makeuped eyes may be hiding the bruises from an abusive parent. The girl who presents herself as a "slut" may be getting sexually abused at home or elsewhere and she feels like she must present herself in that manner because that's the only way she can be loved. The "nerd" who is always answering questions and always studying could be hiding himself in work so that he can ignore that fact that his mother is a heroine addict and his father is cheating on his mother. The "jock" who you've seen push the weaker ones so many times may be that way because he's trying to exert his own personal fear on others because his father makes him kneel on rice for hours if he isn't the best at everything. You never know what people are going through so don't be mean. Be nice to everyone you encounter and if you ever feel that there is something wrong with somebody or you get that gut feeling or you find something that looks like something may be headed in the wrong direction, get help from somebody that can help that person. And if you yourself ever feel that suicide is the right decision, I want you to think about how many people you will have an impact on and if a permanent fix is really the answer to your temporary solution. 


If you think nobody is here for you or you worry that you will be shipped off to a crazy house if you speak to them, think again. If you need somebody to talk to but don't know who to trust, find a friend, a teacher, a family member, or for Heaven's sake talk to me! I would hate to see you lose your precious life because you thought nobody was there for you. You are smart, kind and important and there is no reason for you to live as if nobody cares. Talk to somebody and let them help you. You are more important than you think.


And if you ever have somebody come to you, that is putting their trust in you, LISTEN TO THEM! Be there for them and help them. They trust you! And telling you was a big enough step for them, you have to help them. Please don't blow it off, a life is too important to blow off, let them know you care.


I just want to know, Will somebody please listen to them?