DownToThePoint.

I'm not sure where to start with this blog, but here we go...

   All on Facebook lately and even out and about on my own campus, all I tend to see or here are students complaining about how hard college is or how they don't make friends. Well let me get down to the nitty gritty for you...

   First off, I want to find whoever told these freshmen (or college students in general) that college is supposed to be easy. GIVE. ME. A. BREAK. In high school you can pass a test by reading the study guide 5 minutes before the test (yeah, study guides... remember those and how fantastic those were?) or by not even reading the study guide and just winging it. You managed to get A's and B's on those test and man, oh, man were those the good 'ol days. But that isn't what college is about. You came to college to EXPAND your mind, not to get by with minimal work and expect to get fantastic grades from less than fantastic effort. College is meant to be a challenge. If college wasn't a challenge then the same people who sweep the streets would be the same people operating on your heart, teach your children, or run your country. College is an expansion of learning, if you aren't being challenged, then something isn't right. Granted, if your grades are nothing but F's there may be something you need to change. If F's are all you see, they probably don't stand for "Fantastic" but then again they don't necessarily stand for "Failure". Colleges offer sooooooo many resources to their students, but it's up to the student to reach out and grab the resources that are available. Tutoring is not for losers or the dumb kids! (Also, whoever put that idea in your mind, go kick them straight in the chin, that isn't true and it never will be) Tutoring is such a wonderful resource for learning! It goes right back to the expansion of your education!

     Then again, I will make the brave statement that college isn't for everybody. There are many people throughout our universe that college just isn't for them. They had enough schooling from high school and they are just ready to get out and do something productive in the world. And guess what? That is perfectly FINE! EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT. Don't let anybody ever tell you that there is only one way to do something in your life, they are wrong. This is YOUR life and if you are living it in a way to keep others happy, then you will never, ever be happy with yourself. Those other people have no right to drag you down and tell you what you can and shouldn't do. They aren't you, they don't know you, they don't live your life, and they won't be living your life 20 years, don't let them live it now. I hate to say it but if you have tried your hardest, branched out, worked your tail off, and you are still severely unhappy in college then maybe it isn't for you. Must I repeat that it is OKAY. If your parents are forcing you to go to college, find some way to tell them that it isn't for you. But I will say, if you choose not to go to college, don't sit at home on the couch all day just bumming of your parents. That's not cool nor is it okay. If you choose not to go to college, find something productive to do with your life. Join the military, find a job, take up avidly volunteering, just find some way to sustain your personal life and activities. Just don't become a leech to society. 

     Also, don't complain that you aren't good at anything and that you can't be productive. Lemme tell you a little something that may blow your mind: You can find a job, even if you don't have a car. You know all that time you spend on your phone/internet/Facebook/etc..? Yeah well then get a job that involves you being on the phone, computer, etc.. It's a real thing. Don't be a lazy bum, nobody likes a lazy bum and then you really will be disliked by society. Don't give excuses. As people we should focus more on making efforts rather than excuses. Excuses are for the cowards of the world. Take a deep breath and step into the unknown. You never know what you aren't good at until you've done it about 100 times. Don't do something once and say "Oh, well I failed once so I must really suck...", go do it 99 more times and then if you fail every single time from then on, maybe you should find something else to be productive in (but remember, don't resort to being a lazy bum...).  

    Part Two of the Rant:
      Alrighty, gather around for story time children. QUIT YOUR WHINING/CRYING/COMPLAINING/MOANING/GROANING! Good gracious! I understand that the transition to college is ROUGH! Especially if you go into this experience without friends, away from home, or you just have a rough transition in general. I honestly get it and I honestly care. But you want to know what I don't care about? Those who cry all day long with their "Woe is me" when people have repeatedly branched out to you and have attempted to help. You need to realize that those people are TRYING to care for you, but when you continually cry to yourself or cause a scene with your complaints, they can't help you because they can't get past your drama. Go talk to somebody if you think you seriously need help because there are people who truly care for you on campus, whether you believe it or not. The counselors on campus truly do want to listen and they have your best interest in mind. They can give you so many resources and tips on how to handle this transition so that it goes better. I have witnessed so many students that I have attempted to help through the rough stages of this transition or other students have tried to help them, but yet even though those attempts have been made the forlorn student still continues to put on a display of despair. Depression is a real thing and it can DEFINITELY happen upon arriving to college, but you need to seek help and let others help you. There is absolutely no shame at recognizing that there is something different about your personality and honestly, it takes a lot of courage and strength to listen and seek help of those around you. Don't be ashamed if you think something is off or if others tell you something is off, they're just trying to help. Don't push away those around you that are trying to help, they really care and I can't stress that enough. 

     Please keep in mind that if college is stressing you out, take some time off. Some people with argue with this point, but if it making you depressed, stressing you out too much, or becoming too much to handle, then just go home for a semester or so and take a breather. There is no problem in that. Sometimes we all just need to take a step back and regain the balance of our emotions, thoughts, and life. 

     I may have sounded like a horrid person in writing this, but I really want people to know that it's okay to not be ready for college or to even not want to be at college. This is your life, live how you want and if things get bumpy, look at the world around you and recognize those willing to help and accept it. THEY CARE. WE CARE. YOUR COLLEGE CARES. Please don't be ashamed of anything. College is a scary and eye-opening experience for everyone, you aren't alone. Just take a deep breath and step into the unknown. You never know what wonderful experiences you'll find. 

 

WhatIsBeautiful?

    I write this using my own personal experience. I write this using my own fears, faults, and trials. I have always wondered what it would be like to be beautiful. What it would be like to be a supermodel. I have always wanted to be that tall, skinny, and gorgeous girl that everyone admired for her looks. But I've thought some more about this and I think my perception has changed. 

     You always have those people that compliment you on your beauty and all you can do is say, "No... ". Never really thought about it until now. I always thought that I wasn't pretty. I was never skinny and I'm still not. My hair never cooperates. My thighs have cellulite. I cry during bathing suit season. And sometimes shopping for clothes, though it's my favorite hobby, makes me terribly depressed because of the number size I have to chose. But lets think about this. Where are we getting our definition of beauty? Do we get it from the media, if so they have the most flawed definition. Do we get it from our peers? If we get negative feedback from them, maybe they aren't the best people to be around for our own health. Where do we get this definition of beauty? Why is it that when someone says someone is "beautiful" that we automatically think of a brilliant white smile, flawless skin, a small waist, perfect hair, and just an overall stunning appearance. Why is it that we focus so much on materialistic looks, that we forget the other beautiful traits we all have. We are constantly letting media feed us negative images of ourselves and giving us these gorgeous models to look at. Well, lets face it! If everybody looked like models, there wouldn't be a career in that field! And you know what, good for them if they're a size 2 and don't have to wash their face before bed to avoid getting zits. BUT THAT ISN'T EVERYBODY. 

     We need to stop putting this standard of beauty in our mind! We all need to focus on the positives of ourselves that make us beautiful! Seriously, write a list of all the positive things people have said about you or that you think are beautiful of yourself. I'll start.

• I have golden brown eyes, that I truly like.
• I have this red, natural tint in my hair that only shows when the sun is on it.
• I have freckles on my face and I think they're cute
• I am tall
• I sing well
• I make a good first impression
• I've been complimented on how kind I am to everyone, even if I don't know them
• I have an outgoing and loud personality
• I have straight white teeth and I've never had to wear braces
• I think my eyes are perfectly shaped for the application of all makeup
• My hands and feet are proportionate to my body

Now to some, this list may seem conceited but for me it was hard to write. I have never tried to think about what is beautiful in my life, I typically only focused on the negative and that's where people go wrong. That's when we lose any sliver of self confidence that we may have ever had. So think about it, where are you getting your definition of beauty. 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

I'mEngaged!

     I am engaged! As of March 19th, 2013 at like 1:15, I AM ENGAGED! I don't think I can describe how glorious this feels. But what I can do is describe to you how it happened so that you can gauge your emotions off of the days events.

    For months and days Taylor had been bugging me about getting some good pictures of us. He kept asking if I would feel comfortable with his friends doing it, my friends doing it, or our mothers doing it, but I just blew him off and saying "no...", "no....", "not today...", "maybe later...". I just thought it would be awkward, ya know? To have one our friends take pictures of us just because? Not my thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good picture, but I only like it if there is like a special occasion or something. So we never took any pictures... Well, Spring Break rolled around for us two and we were supposed to work a camp at Diamond H, but life kind of hit the both of us and we couldn't dedicate our time to that. I ended up visiting him and we talked about what we were going to do to keep up occupied. He came up with the brilliant idea of taking pictures at the Myriad Gardens in OKC (Of course he wanted to take pictures). I finally just agreed to go take pictures and we could just use my camera and my tripod and that way there wasn't an awkward third wheel around. Well, Tuesday (the day of pictures) rolled around and we both got ready. I decided to wear a nice-ish dress (which I never do) and he wore a polo and jeans (this boy hardly wears polos). As we were leaving his house for the city, I realized I hadn't painted my nails and thought hard about making him turn around and go back to his house, just so I could grab some nail polish... But I decided against it and figured nobody would be looking that hard anyways. Before we got to the city we went to Arcadia and stopped at the Round Barn and Pops, seeing as how he had never been. We were already having a really good time! Once we got to Bricktown, we decided to park at Bass Pro (because it was free) and just walk to the Myriad Gardens. MAN! It was WINDY! (Go figure that in the state of Oklahoma it would be windy.) But I stuck it out, while holding my dress down with one hand and holding his hand in my other. We finally arrived at the Myriad Gardens and went inside (it is really nice since it has been remodeled!). We walked around and I took a gajillion pictures of flowers and such and then we finished. Taylor had the idea of going to the lower level outside to take pictures, so out we went. For some reason my mood kept getting weirder and weirder. I was on the verge of grumpy and Taylor sensed it and kept asking what was wrong. Well, I don't know why that set me off but every time he asked I got weirder and weirder. Anyways, we began to take our pictures. We got to a place where I had my tripod set up facing the Devon Tower and the back half of the Gardens. The camera was set up for self timing and so we stood there and let it take our pictures. Then, Taylor wanted to use his Go-Pro to take a few. While he was setting up his camera my back was to him and I was admiring the Devon Tower (first time for me to see it so closely), he walked over and we posed... The camera wasn't blinking nor did it take our picture. So, Taylor walked back over to fix it and I went back to glancing at the tower. As he was walking back, I turned back to face the camera and once he reached me, he dropped to one knee with a little box opened in his hand. I. WAS. SHOCKED. I vaguely remember hearing the words "Alexandria Lei Neighbors....Marry Me". I think that there might have been other words in his sentence, but I only remember everything in my head was so loud, or did everything get quiet? I stood there with my hands flexed out at my side just staring at the beautiful ring in the box, asking myself "Is this real? Is this seriously happening?" and after standing there silent, for what felt like a good 10 minutes (don't worry it wasn't that long), I told myself "Hey... you might want to answer him". I could barely squeak out a yes and nod my head! I was speechless! ME! The queen of Gab was speechless! He slid that gorgeous ring on my finger and wrapped his arms around me! I couldn't knock that stupid grin off of my face! He had proposed and I had said YES! :) I literally was speechless for a good hour with the occasional squeak of a word that came out of my mouth. I think what made the whole event even better was the fact that he was walking around like the proudest man in the world! I had never seen him so carefree and genuinely happy! He couldn't stop smiling and neither could I! 

    Later, when we finally made it back to his pick-up we had phone calls to make (to family, we couldn't post it on Facebook until we had contacted them, duh that would just be rude). When we called his parents they were so happy. Of course they knew about it, but nonetheless they sounded so happy for us. His dad told me the sweetest thing anybody could ever say, which was "Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to the family. We are so very honored to have you join it." My heart was melting. 

     After finishing up all the phone calls and texts (we left out my mom), we headed over to my moms work to "bring her a drink". We waited around in her office until she showed up and when I handed her the drink, I expected her to see the ring! But, she didn't. :| So  when I was hugging her, I tried to press it into her hand so she'd feel it, but she didn't. Finally, While hugging her I gently patted her face with the back side of my hand and she felt it! She looked at it and started crying! (And for your information, no I didn't cry when he asked I just smiled like a stupid idiot) My mom was so thrilled and so was/am I!

     I think what takes me by surprise now is the fact that Taylor had been planning this for awhile! EVERYBODY knew! My own roommates knew and some how managed not to spill the beans AND make it seem like I was never getting engaged! I honestly thought that I wasn't going to be engaged until my senior year of college, but here I am sitting here with a beautiful engagement ring on my left ring finger and a silly smile on my face. 

     The more I think about being engaged, the more I smile. I couldn't ask for a better man than Taylor, and quite honestly I don't think that there is one. I am so overwhelmingly happy and thrilled. It feels odd to be engaged, but it's also so very comforting knowing that I am one step closer to being with my best friend for the rest of my life. ♥