LetThemBeACompliment

     So, I've been seeing a lot of girls lately cry over guys. And yes, I understand the tears and the pain of going through a breakup (Especially if y'all were best friends and/or had been dating for years), but a lot of these girls have only dated the guy for a few days/weeks/months... And in some of the cases they barely knew the guy they were dating so that brings me to think many things about said situation.

     I'm going to give a scenario, it may be slightly extreme by your measures but in all reality these are the things I'm seeing: Okay, so this girl walks into Wal-Mart, gets her stuff and goes to the check out line. Her cashier is this handsome guy with a great laugh/personality/looks/whatever so she starts to flirt with him and to her surprise/pleasure he flirts back. Now as the old lady behind her with only two things begins to get impatient, they exchange numbers because the guy said he thought she was cute/nice/yaddah yaddah, so the girls leaves with his number and he now has hers. They text that night when he gets off work and after about a week of texting he pulls out the big guns and decides to ask her out! She's wonderfully excited because now she has this seems-to-be wonderful handsome boyfriend! So they date for lets say about 2 or 3 months and he starts to tell her that he loves her, that she's the only one for him, that they're soul mates and then all of a sudden things die down.... She wonders where the sparks have gone and she desperately trys to rekindle them, in the process of attempting to rekindle the first initial feelings of their puppy love, he feels as if his freedom is "limited" or that he doesn't like to be "tied down", so he breaks up with her. Her heart is broken, so she says, she feels as if she can never recover from the pain and agony and she spends many nights uselessly groveling at his feet for him to come back that she can change whatever she did wrong.

     I realize how extreme that situation sounds, but in all reality I know girls who endure this time and time again and I shake my head, but stand by them, I just have to tell them the same thing I always tell them. A guy should never be the definition of who you are but rather he should be a compliment of who you truly are.

     I don't understand how these girls came to the notion that after talking to a guy for a week and assuming he's Mr.Right, that you should jump right on board the Dating Wagon... I don't think I was ever instilled with those notions... The way I was raised was different I guess. I believe that you should be friends first (good friends) then date later... Yeah, you have that risk of losing your friendship if you break up but think about it, if you were truly great friends in the beginning, then a breakup will hurt for a while then the realization that you're better off just being friends will kick in and everything will be okay. That is the scariest feeling, that jumping off the cliff of just friendship into the pool of so much more, but it can also be the most wonderful feeling in the world. To get to know someone well before dating them is vital, in my opinion. If you get to know them, then you figure out what they're truly like. If y'all become friends and he is always commenting on a  girls rear end or chest in front of you, saying he'd "tap that", do you really think he would be 100% loyal to you even in his thoughts? I'm not saying guys aren't allowed to look, because they are and so are girls, but what I'm saying is that you have to use your judgement. Be friends with him and if he turns out to be like that, then just stay friends, no more no less. Because even though you don't have a boyfriend, you just gained another friend.

    Dating is probably one of the most scary things in the world to endure, you're basically connecting yourself with another person in the hopes of finding your "soul mate", granted even if you are friends before and you felt like everything was going great, it can end in the blink of an eye, but at least you tried and you used logic... Sometimes things are inevitable and we just have to live through that. But one of the reasons break ups are so difficult is because three little words have been said; "I love you.". Those words can take your relationship to a whole new level, good or bad, but those words have also been thrown around so much in some peoples lives that they no longer mean anything to that person. Some people even go as far as using those words to gain sex or other attention from a person. But if they are said with the best intentions, then those words can set your heart ablaze with passion and take your relationship to a deeper level for the both of you. Though they are very meaningful, they should be used with caution. I've always said that "You should only say 'I Love You' to your bf/gf when you're ready to marry them or you can see yourself marrying them." Yes, I realize it's a little extreme but using those words as an everyday phrase for more word count is a little extreme.

     Relationships are basically logic and understanding. Use your brain! Think things through! Evaluate your situation! Now, even though it seems as if I wrote this blog to bash young love and say how stupid it is to say I love you and that boys are stupid and girls are dumb, I didn't. I am in a relationship as well. I knew my boyfriend for 5 years before dating him, though I do have to say for the first 3 years of that we didn't talk much, I just knew who he was and we just had casual conversations. I worked a camp called NYLT (National Youth Leadership Training) and he was a participant in the first year I taught it. Then the next year I think he worked it and the third and last year I worked it, he was pretty much the head honcho for that course. He kind at summer camp here and there and he worked our camps in October, so that's when we started talking and not like "talking talking", but talking and becoming better friends. He was funny, smart, hard working, dependable, a great listener, and just all around wonderful. He was a great friend to me... Then around August (right after our 3rd NYLT) we started to talk even more... We talked on Facebook and we texted each other a lot and he told me that he was interested in somebody and I, seeing as how I am curious by nature, became very curious about this. I kept asking who it was and he wouldn't tell me! He gave me a couple of clues, such as that he had worked with her a camp before, so I started rambling off names of the girls he and I had ever worked with at camp. Every time I guessed he would say I was wrong, I was becoming more and more perplexed. This kept going on through August to September, during this we talked more and more often. And sometime in September is when I finally figured out that the only girl left was me, though that thought had always been in the back of my mind. I was SO nervous! I had never had a boyfriend and I didn't know what to do or say... so we continued to talk, but not dating yet, then I remember this part clearly. It was Sunday, October 11, 2009 and I had just finished cleaning camp from the Family Adventures session so the smell of bleach and other cleaners lingered in my nose. My dad had parked outside of Central Lodge and he had gone in. I stayed out in the truck with the door open and my feet propped on it... I found this wrench thing and I was messing with it and texting him, by this point I had already told them that I thought it was me and he had agreed that yes, I was the one he liked. So as I sat there texting him, he asked me if I wanted to date him. (he later actually asked in person) I was so excited/nervous/scared, but I said yes. My smile stretched so wide, but we wanted to wait till the next weekend to tell anybody, so we did. He is now my boyfriend of basically two years and it is the best relationship I could ask for. Yes, we argue and have our quarrels but in the end we know that we will always be there for each other.

     Another thing that makes breaking up hard is the fact that girls sometimes feel that it is necessary to give their Vcard to a boy, just to keep him. Well let me tell you something ladies, if he says "I love you" and he really means it then having you as a girlfriend should be enough. You shouldn't have to prove that you love him by having sex with him. Everytime you have sex with somebody, you are basically giving away a part of your soul you will never get back. I am a strong believer in waiting until you're married to have sex, then you will be giving yourself to your husband and you will be able to give him all of your soul, not just what you didn't give to Bob and Joe and Sam. So be careful with what you do, because your innocence and purity is something that is very very hard to get back physically. I do believe that God can make you mentally pure but you will never be able to gain back physical purity. Sex doesn't make a realtionship and I am proud to say I still have my V card and will have it until I'm married. People have this idea that because I've been in this relationship with my boyfriend for so long that I have had sex with him, well that is not the case. You do NOT need sex to stay happy in a relationship, and if you do, then something is not right.


     So all I am trying to say is that when you are in a reltationship, let your boyfriend or girlfriend be a compliment of who you are. Do not let them be your definition. Be careful with the words you throw around in anger and in love, be sure to gaurd your heart and let God lead the way, and secure your body and never let a man or girl into guilting you into something you don't want to do. And if worst comes to worst and you have broken up with someone, be strong, hold your shoulders back and your chin high and know that you can get through the pain and struggle. That you have God helping you through life and that You are Strong.

WeWillAlwaysBeAmerican.

     There are so many things I could say on a day such as this... But I'm going to start with something very small and minuscule to most. I help teach a Sunday school class on Sunday mornings.... I had this little girl say a prayer today that touched my heart; "Dear Lord, I pray that everybody stays happy today. And I love love love this world, so thank you for making it. I also love the people in this world, so thank you for them to. Today we should all make good choices. But  really do love love LOVE this world and all my friends, so thanks. Amen." This little girl was not alive for 9/11 so she may never be able to grasp the magnitude of the event, but she has the right idea. When did people stop loving each other? Why/when did all of this hate begin? There is no reason to hate each other...

     I was 8 years old when 9/11 happened. Meaning I was in the 4th grade... I don't remember much from that day besides everybody being shocked and sad... I remember parents rushing to the school to pick their children up. Teachers turned on the TV to see what had happened. I remember my mom picking me up after school and she took me home. We sat in our blue recliner and watched the news. She cried and I didn't quite understand... I remember asking question after question... "Who did this?" "Why did they do this?" "Do they not like us?" "Why don't they like America?" "What did we do to make them not like us?"...

      People are constantly fighting to take the Pledge of Allegiance and a Moment of Silence out of schools, but why should we. "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, ONE nation under God, Indivisible, With LIBERTY and JUSTICE for all." I see nothing wrong with that. It simply states that we are One nation that is unable to be divided and that we provide liberty and justice to all who live within our borders. You shake your head at that last part and think "No, we don't give justice to people all the time, innocent people are in jail and criminals roam free." Well let me tell you something, the only reason those things happen is because people don't listen to the pledge, they don't believe in being "ONE NATION" they turn themselves and others into greedy self-serving people and that is why our Pledge has less of a meaning than it used to. If we were to live by the morals and rights that our country was originally founded on, none of this would be a problem. We are constantly antagonizing each other and it's ridiculous. We all have something in common, no matter if you're black, purple, atheist, Buddhist, blind, deaf, smart, dumb, muscular or weak. We are AMERICAN. Take pride in being American. You don't have to take pride in the self-serving people, the corrupt citizens, the cheaters, liars or fakes. Take pride in what our country means. Would you rather live in a country that is full of communists? And for those of you who are right now saying we do live in a country dominated by socialists and communists, well you have a right to your own opinion, but remember that if you were anywhere else, besides the United States of America, you would not be able to hold that opinion. Just keep that in mind.

    And as for the Moment of Silence, I think it is a wonderful idea. No it isn't just for Jesus freaks, No it isn't just to pray, and NO you aren't obligated to do it. The definition of a Moment of Silence  is "the expression for a period of silent contemplation, prayer, reflection, or meditation. Similar to flying a flag at half-mast, a moment of silence is often a gesture of respect, particularly in/ mourning for those who have recently died or as part of a commemoration ceremony of a tragic historical event." No where does it state that you HAVE to partake in it, but out of respect for others you shouldn't make noise and snide comments, or nasty remarks towards the ones that are observing a moment of silence. And that isn't because of what the definition says, it comes down to having respect for another persons beliefs and freedoms of expression. Well yes, you could counter act that and state that as one of your freedoms you can talk, yell, make remarks and what not all throughout a person's moment of silence, and that is true. But that's up to you and your morals to decide.

     Now, this particular blog post wasn't for me to rant and rave about how you should be more American and love each other, no. It was to honor today. 9/11. On that day the country was consumed with sadness. The Towers Fell. People Died. We lost family. Children died. But despite all of these horrific things, our country managed to pull together for each other in our time of need. Firefighters, Police, and strangers came to help without being asked. Local food places and stores just handed out water and food without asking to be paid. This is what it means to be American. It means to Love each other, be there for each other, respect each other, and above all not hate each other. Hate is what got us here in the first place. Even when the world around us seems to be crashing down, we need to stand together as one. We are one. Even on days when terrorists aren't attacking, we need to stand together and show the world that, we as Americans, are strong no matter what. You may not like the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, but pray for our Soldiers, they need to know we care. You may not know the people whose house burns down, but pray for the firefighters, they need to know we care. You may not know the person who got robbed, but pray for the police that helped, they need to know we care. You may not know the person in labor, in surgery, or the person who just passed away, but pray for our doctors and nurses, they need to know we care. You may not know the person down the street from you, but even if theyre a stranger, pray for them. We can't be a successful, free country with people hating others and constantly antagonizing others or causing problems. This is not what our Country was founded on. Do not show the enemy our weaknesses.

     September 11, 2001 was a tragic day for the United States of America and though we lost alot of lives, we also gained friendship and strength with our fellow citizens. Please remember those who lost their lives, those who lost loved ones, those who came into help the ones in needs, and those around you every single day. Do not let the struggles of life let you forget what you are blessed with. Everything happens for a reason and when God closes a door, he opens a window and it's your choice whether you crawl out the window or not. May God bless the ones who have lost their loved ones and may the lost loved ones continue to look upon their friends and family from Heaven and continue to guide and protect them. We will always be a strong country. We will always be based on courage, love and strength. We will always be American.

NightsLikeThese

     There are just some nights where I want to stick my foot in my mouth and then I realize there is no rewind button so I have to suck it up and move on. I don't understand men sometimes...I just don't, what I said wasn't bad the person just has strong feelings towards that subject I guess, then I end up being the villian and I can't have a peaceful night because I spend the rest of my night trying to make him feel better. I think it's because men are missing that one part in their chromosomes...

     I want to be so mad sometimes but the feeling of love makes me think things over... I can't be mad, I have to realize that everybody has sore subjects and that one happens to be his. I want to make him feel better, but I also realize that he can't feel better unless he WANTS to feel better, so no matter what I say he will still be upset until he chooses to feel better. Life goes on I suppose... Just makes for one heck of a crappy night. I wanted to say goodnight, I love you and get a message back with the same sort of feeling to it, but you can just sense in the message that his nerves are still on edge. Oh well, tomorrow is another day with different feelings. So goodnight for now, we shall see what tomorrow holds.

Just a note

    Just To inform you, the concept of kindergarten confidence actually came from a motivational speaker named Dion Jordin, not my concept.

Child-likePurity

     People are constantly telling me I shouldn't pursue a career in education because there is nothing out there for me. Blah Blah Blah, is what I have to say to them. Children are my passion and always will be. I shouldn' t have to explain my passions but I will purely for the sake of the nay sayers out there.

     Have you ever met a child that wasn't completely honest, I mean yes they can lie for fear of being in trouble, but if they don't like you you will know it. In my opinion, children have the best sense of people. They know if you're a good person or not and they know if they like you. It is what it is. When everyone is born, they are born with a sort of "child-like purity", they know what they want, they know what they don't want, and they know if they like you are not. You have Bill Cosby's "Kids say the darnedest things" for example. I've never met a kid who didn't tell me the truth.

     My mom loves telling stories about the upfrontness I had when I was little. I've blurted out to her about people not washing their hands, people being fat, and people not being handicapped. She loves to tell one certain story about me though. She said that, when I was little, if I went over to your house and felt comfortable I would immediately take off my shoes... Odd yes, but still. If I wasn't comfortable with the environment or people I would keep my shoes on and wait for us to leave. Kids have amazing minds that people seem to look at with narrow minds. When kids speak to me, I listen. They will tell you truth, it may be blunt and 100% honest, but it is honest. They don't have the concept of "hurt feelings" yet, so if you ask them if your dress makes you look fat and it does, well then you're probably going to get a yes out of them. Don't yell at them for being "mean" or "hurtful" because they weren't trying to be. Don't be mad at them for not telling you what you wanted to hear. If you say be honest, well then they will be honest. There is no gray area. They aren't adults, they aren't going to stab you in the back, they aren't going to lie to your face, and they aren't going to be two faced.

     If during the day they scream and yell at you and say they hate you, don't react negatively. Because at the end of the day, they will still want and need you, they will still need you to tuck them in to bed, check the closet for monsters, and kiss them goodnight. They need you even when you think they're being childish.

     I've always wondered what the world would be like if we still had our Child-Like purity along with our mature minds to think things through... Is that even possible?

    What if we all still had our Kindergarten confidence? If you ask an adult if they can sing, dance, if they look good, if they're confident, if they don't think they are or can do any of those things then you will get a no. But if you think about it, the answer should be yes. Most everybody can sing and dance, it may not be good or in key but you can still sing. Most everybody thinks they look good in the morning when they first get dressed, but they lose those thoughts because they're scared of what somebody else may say or think about the way they look. And if you ask the adult if they're confident they'll say no, because for so long society has told them they suck or they're ugly so many times that they're confidence truly is worn down or simply gone. But if you ask a crowd of kindergartners they'll get up and start singing and dancing to prove you wrong, they will definitely say they look good even if their shoes don't match, and of course they know they're confident because they haven't been worn down yet. So what would happen if we all remained like this? How much more confident would people be? We'd have less shootings, less suicides, and maybe even less murders... Think about it. We need our Kindergarten Confidence back.

     A child is the purest form of humanity. They tell you the truth, not maybe what you want to hear, but what needs to be said or what you asked for. They are truthful and pure and simply my favorite people to be around. So pay attention to your kids when they say something and encourage the fact that they still have kindergarten confidence