WhatAGirlWants.

What A Girl Wants

I stole this from Kylie :) Love it and so true! :)

I found this online and I really like it. Just give guys some tips on how a girl wants to be treated and what she's thinking. :)

All girls secretly love a guy who can sing.

Just so you know, girls want to smell you from 10, 6, or even 2 feet away.

Girls HATE players!!!!

We love it when you put your arm around us at the movies (especially the scary ones).

We don't need you to be Superman. We just need you to be there.

Pretty much all girls like to talk about something, so feel free to call us.

We LOVE surprises. That is, the good ones.

Don't ever try to impress us by cursing or fighting. It doesn't work; you just look like a jerk.

When you pick on the girl you like, she won't think you’re interested or cool. She'll just think that you're mean. (Ah the logic... of girls...)

Every girl wants to feel special, even if it’s just to you.

Being able to make your girl laugh= MAJOR brownie points!

We absolutely HATE it when you break a promise to us. It completely devastates us.

Here's something that girls are taught: When a guy says that you're hot, he's looking at your body. When he says that you're pretty, he's looking at your face. When he says that you're beautiful, he's looking at your heart. Remember that when you compliment a girl......

Ask any girl... She'll have no idea what the hell a guy means when he says that she's "cute".

We can tell when you aren't listening, and, yeah, it kind of pisses us off. If were boring you, at least have the decency to tell us!

When we say that we're cold, we either want you to come closer or give us your jacket. Tip: If you really want to impress your girl, hold her tight and put your jacket around her while you're still wearing it. It’s amazingly romantic! (As long as you don't grope her)

Hugs can mean more than kisses sometimes.

If you wait for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will pass you by. In other words, if you want to ask her out, just do it!

Please give us the same respect you would to any other human and look us in the eyes (Yes we do notice when your eyes wander).

We want the same respect that you give to other guys, but we really don't want you to treat us like them... (Chest bumps are never ok)

If you ask us nicely, we'll usually answer in the same way.

It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

Anything you say or do with another girl that you don't want us to know is considered cheating.

When you say you don't like it when we wear makeup, don't just leave it at that. It helps to tell us why.

It absolutely floors us when you know our favorite color, flower, T.V. show, movie, artist, etc. See, we aren't that hard to please.

This one may seem weird. We love keeping your hoodies/jackets because: they remind us of you, they smell like you, and it makes us feel like you're there holding us even when you aren't.

NEVER EVER HIT A GIRL!!!!!!!!! Even if she hits you first....it's just wrong.

When you're dating a girl and you introduce her to your friends, you had better say that she's your girlfriend.

When it comes to gifts, we'd prefer something that has meaning rather than something with a big price tag.

The best thing that you can be to any girl is her friend. Friendship always comes before any good romantic relationship.

Have I mentioned that we like respect?

All girls want to be told I LOVE YOU now and then and possibly whisper it in her ear when you are having a moment.

Usually, when a girl is sarcastically mean to you, it means she's attracted to you, but she's afraid that she'll be showing too much.

When you calm a girl down (and believe me, you will need to do this someday), try your hardest to make her laugh, but never make her feel stupid for being so worked up in the first place.

Keep in mind that pretty much every girl has a group of guys (friends, brothers and her Daddy) who will beat the crap out of you if cross the line.

Girls don’t like show-offs. Just be yourself we'll like you better that way and if a girl doesn’t like the real you she's not worth your time.

Face it. Girls really aren't impressed when you spend the whole day showing off your muscles...

When she’s upset hold her and tell her she'll be fine even if she says it won’t, convince her it will be.

Don't disrespect her in ANYWAY.

Now and again flatter her with compliments.

Don't think that just because you didn't tell us we are never going to find out.

Our friends know EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING said to our friends will be told to us. Guaranteed.

No matter what we say, we hate your ex-girlfriend.

We check our phones every hour to see if you have replied to our texts, then worry if you haven't.

The fact you might leave us for another girl keeps us up at night.

When we're not talking to you on IM, we're actually waiting for you to talk to us (in a non-snobby way, we want to see if you still care enough to talk to us).

When we act sad, we want you to hug us.

We actually freak out on what to do during holidays like Valentine’s Day.

We don't care what our friends think of you, but we do care what your friends think of us.

We are very, very scared of scaring you away.

We don't care about what we talk about, just as long as we have your attention for a few minutes.

We have mood swings. Get over it.

Every time you're around other girls, we worry they are better than us.

We don't want to hear how cool your ex-girlfriend/neighbor/best gal friend is.

We will move mountains on our timetable if it means seeing you.

We compare every other guy to you, and you always come out best.

Don't brag about other girls liking you, it just makes us insecure.

When we say everything is 'fine', it generally means everything is absolutely horrible and we are on the brink of falling to pieces. Don't just say 'ok' when we say we don't want to talk about it.

If you do not hug us, we will not kiss you.

We think you are the best guy in the world.

We really do want you to stick up for us.

Compliments. We love them.

Be on time. We will think you don't care if you're not on time at a certain place.

Whether you say luv or love does matter.

We don't care if you couldn't come on that date because of the most embarrassing reason in the world, just don't lie to us.

We like cuddling up to you so let us.

Silent Treatment + Short Answers + Not Smiling or Laughing + Evil Looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.

Do not make fun of us unless we are in a good mood. As insecure as girls go, we take these things very seriously.

Saying something sweet MIGHT get you off the hook. Doing something sweet will ALWAYS get you off the hook.

We never forget things. Ever.

We over-analyze everything.  We over-react to everything.

We don't like being used.

We like it when you do un-expected nice things.

We usually don't let just any guy make us cry, so if you make us cry, you must have done something bad...

This is the way it works: You don't give us any attention, we dump you. It is NOT: You don't give us any attention, we chase after you. Deal with it.

We like it when you are protective of us. It makes us feel special.

Unless she is a moronic idiot, a girl who truly loves you will love you for a long, long time.

When we come back from a holiday and brag about how awesome it was, during the entire time there we were probably thinking about you. A lot.

No matter where we are or what we are doing, we really want you to hold our hand.

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

When she misses you, she's hurting inside.

When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.

When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

When she ignores you, give her your attention.

When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.

When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared, protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favorite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

Don't let her have the last word.

Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

Argue that she is the best girl ever.

Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

Don't ignore her when she's out with you and your friends.

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid.

Let her into your world.

Let her wear your clothes.

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

Let her know she's important.

Kiss her in the pouring rain.

After she reads this, she hopes one day you'd read it too.

LetThemBeACompliment

     So, I've been seeing a lot of girls lately cry over guys. And yes, I understand the tears and the pain of going through a breakup (Especially if y'all were best friends and/or had been dating for years), but a lot of these girls have only dated the guy for a few days/weeks/months... And in some of the cases they barely knew the guy they were dating so that brings me to think many things about said situation.

     I'm going to give a scenario, it may be slightly extreme by your measures but in all reality these are the things I'm seeing: Okay, so this girl walks into Wal-Mart, gets her stuff and goes to the check out line. Her cashier is this handsome guy with a great laugh/personality/looks/whatever so she starts to flirt with him and to her surprise/pleasure he flirts back. Now as the old lady behind her with only two things begins to get impatient, they exchange numbers because the guy said he thought she was cute/nice/yaddah yaddah, so the girls leaves with his number and he now has hers. They text that night when he gets off work and after about a week of texting he pulls out the big guns and decides to ask her out! She's wonderfully excited because now she has this seems-to-be wonderful handsome boyfriend! So they date for lets say about 2 or 3 months and he starts to tell her that he loves her, that she's the only one for him, that they're soul mates and then all of a sudden things die down.... She wonders where the sparks have gone and she desperately trys to rekindle them, in the process of attempting to rekindle the first initial feelings of their puppy love, he feels as if his freedom is "limited" or that he doesn't like to be "tied down", so he breaks up with her. Her heart is broken, so she says, she feels as if she can never recover from the pain and agony and she spends many nights uselessly groveling at his feet for him to come back that she can change whatever she did wrong.

     I realize how extreme that situation sounds, but in all reality I know girls who endure this time and time again and I shake my head, but stand by them, I just have to tell them the same thing I always tell them. A guy should never be the definition of who you are but rather he should be a compliment of who you truly are.

     I don't understand how these girls came to the notion that after talking to a guy for a week and assuming he's Mr.Right, that you should jump right on board the Dating Wagon... I don't think I was ever instilled with those notions... The way I was raised was different I guess. I believe that you should be friends first (good friends) then date later... Yeah, you have that risk of losing your friendship if you break up but think about it, if you were truly great friends in the beginning, then a breakup will hurt for a while then the realization that you're better off just being friends will kick in and everything will be okay. That is the scariest feeling, that jumping off the cliff of just friendship into the pool of so much more, but it can also be the most wonderful feeling in the world. To get to know someone well before dating them is vital, in my opinion. If you get to know them, then you figure out what they're truly like. If y'all become friends and he is always commenting on a  girls rear end or chest in front of you, saying he'd "tap that", do you really think he would be 100% loyal to you even in his thoughts? I'm not saying guys aren't allowed to look, because they are and so are girls, but what I'm saying is that you have to use your judgement. Be friends with him and if he turns out to be like that, then just stay friends, no more no less. Because even though you don't have a boyfriend, you just gained another friend.

    Dating is probably one of the most scary things in the world to endure, you're basically connecting yourself with another person in the hopes of finding your "soul mate", granted even if you are friends before and you felt like everything was going great, it can end in the blink of an eye, but at least you tried and you used logic... Sometimes things are inevitable and we just have to live through that. But one of the reasons break ups are so difficult is because three little words have been said; "I love you.". Those words can take your relationship to a whole new level, good or bad, but those words have also been thrown around so much in some peoples lives that they no longer mean anything to that person. Some people even go as far as using those words to gain sex or other attention from a person. But if they are said with the best intentions, then those words can set your heart ablaze with passion and take your relationship to a deeper level for the both of you. Though they are very meaningful, they should be used with caution. I've always said that "You should only say 'I Love You' to your bf/gf when you're ready to marry them or you can see yourself marrying them." Yes, I realize it's a little extreme but using those words as an everyday phrase for more word count is a little extreme.

     Relationships are basically logic and understanding. Use your brain! Think things through! Evaluate your situation! Now, even though it seems as if I wrote this blog to bash young love and say how stupid it is to say I love you and that boys are stupid and girls are dumb, I didn't. I am in a relationship as well. I knew my boyfriend for 5 years before dating him, though I do have to say for the first 3 years of that we didn't talk much, I just knew who he was and we just had casual conversations. I worked a camp called NYLT (National Youth Leadership Training) and he was a participant in the first year I taught it. Then the next year I think he worked it and the third and last year I worked it, he was pretty much the head honcho for that course. He kind at summer camp here and there and he worked our camps in October, so that's when we started talking and not like "talking talking", but talking and becoming better friends. He was funny, smart, hard working, dependable, a great listener, and just all around wonderful. He was a great friend to me... Then around August (right after our 3rd NYLT) we started to talk even more... We talked on Facebook and we texted each other a lot and he told me that he was interested in somebody and I, seeing as how I am curious by nature, became very curious about this. I kept asking who it was and he wouldn't tell me! He gave me a couple of clues, such as that he had worked with her a camp before, so I started rambling off names of the girls he and I had ever worked with at camp. Every time I guessed he would say I was wrong, I was becoming more and more perplexed. This kept going on through August to September, during this we talked more and more often. And sometime in September is when I finally figured out that the only girl left was me, though that thought had always been in the back of my mind. I was SO nervous! I had never had a boyfriend and I didn't know what to do or say... so we continued to talk, but not dating yet, then I remember this part clearly. It was Sunday, October 11, 2009 and I had just finished cleaning camp from the Family Adventures session so the smell of bleach and other cleaners lingered in my nose. My dad had parked outside of Central Lodge and he had gone in. I stayed out in the truck with the door open and my feet propped on it... I found this wrench thing and I was messing with it and texting him, by this point I had already told them that I thought it was me and he had agreed that yes, I was the one he liked. So as I sat there texting him, he asked me if I wanted to date him. (he later actually asked in person) I was so excited/nervous/scared, but I said yes. My smile stretched so wide, but we wanted to wait till the next weekend to tell anybody, so we did. He is now my boyfriend of basically two years and it is the best relationship I could ask for. Yes, we argue and have our quarrels but in the end we know that we will always be there for each other.

     Another thing that makes breaking up hard is the fact that girls sometimes feel that it is necessary to give their Vcard to a boy, just to keep him. Well let me tell you something ladies, if he says "I love you" and he really means it then having you as a girlfriend should be enough. You shouldn't have to prove that you love him by having sex with him. Everytime you have sex with somebody, you are basically giving away a part of your soul you will never get back. I am a strong believer in waiting until you're married to have sex, then you will be giving yourself to your husband and you will be able to give him all of your soul, not just what you didn't give to Bob and Joe and Sam. So be careful with what you do, because your innocence and purity is something that is very very hard to get back physically. I do believe that God can make you mentally pure but you will never be able to gain back physical purity. Sex doesn't make a realtionship and I am proud to say I still have my V card and will have it until I'm married. People have this idea that because I've been in this relationship with my boyfriend for so long that I have had sex with him, well that is not the case. You do NOT need sex to stay happy in a relationship, and if you do, then something is not right.


     So all I am trying to say is that when you are in a reltationship, let your boyfriend or girlfriend be a compliment of who you are. Do not let them be your definition. Be careful with the words you throw around in anger and in love, be sure to gaurd your heart and let God lead the way, and secure your body and never let a man or girl into guilting you into something you don't want to do. And if worst comes to worst and you have broken up with someone, be strong, hold your shoulders back and your chin high and know that you can get through the pain and struggle. That you have God helping you through life and that You are Strong.

WeWillAlwaysBeAmerican.

     There are so many things I could say on a day such as this... But I'm going to start with something very small and minuscule to most. I help teach a Sunday school class on Sunday mornings.... I had this little girl say a prayer today that touched my heart; "Dear Lord, I pray that everybody stays happy today. And I love love love this world, so thank you for making it. I also love the people in this world, so thank you for them to. Today we should all make good choices. But  really do love love LOVE this world and all my friends, so thanks. Amen." This little girl was not alive for 9/11 so she may never be able to grasp the magnitude of the event, but she has the right idea. When did people stop loving each other? Why/when did all of this hate begin? There is no reason to hate each other...

     I was 8 years old when 9/11 happened. Meaning I was in the 4th grade... I don't remember much from that day besides everybody being shocked and sad... I remember parents rushing to the school to pick their children up. Teachers turned on the TV to see what had happened. I remember my mom picking me up after school and she took me home. We sat in our blue recliner and watched the news. She cried and I didn't quite understand... I remember asking question after question... "Who did this?" "Why did they do this?" "Do they not like us?" "Why don't they like America?" "What did we do to make them not like us?"...

      People are constantly fighting to take the Pledge of Allegiance and a Moment of Silence out of schools, but why should we. "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, ONE nation under God, Indivisible, With LIBERTY and JUSTICE for all." I see nothing wrong with that. It simply states that we are One nation that is unable to be divided and that we provide liberty and justice to all who live within our borders. You shake your head at that last part and think "No, we don't give justice to people all the time, innocent people are in jail and criminals roam free." Well let me tell you something, the only reason those things happen is because people don't listen to the pledge, they don't believe in being "ONE NATION" they turn themselves and others into greedy self-serving people and that is why our Pledge has less of a meaning than it used to. If we were to live by the morals and rights that our country was originally founded on, none of this would be a problem. We are constantly antagonizing each other and it's ridiculous. We all have something in common, no matter if you're black, purple, atheist, Buddhist, blind, deaf, smart, dumb, muscular or weak. We are AMERICAN. Take pride in being American. You don't have to take pride in the self-serving people, the corrupt citizens, the cheaters, liars or fakes. Take pride in what our country means. Would you rather live in a country that is full of communists? And for those of you who are right now saying we do live in a country dominated by socialists and communists, well you have a right to your own opinion, but remember that if you were anywhere else, besides the United States of America, you would not be able to hold that opinion. Just keep that in mind.

    And as for the Moment of Silence, I think it is a wonderful idea. No it isn't just for Jesus freaks, No it isn't just to pray, and NO you aren't obligated to do it. The definition of a Moment of Silence  is "the expression for a period of silent contemplation, prayer, reflection, or meditation. Similar to flying a flag at half-mast, a moment of silence is often a gesture of respect, particularly in/ mourning for those who have recently died or as part of a commemoration ceremony of a tragic historical event." No where does it state that you HAVE to partake in it, but out of respect for others you shouldn't make noise and snide comments, or nasty remarks towards the ones that are observing a moment of silence. And that isn't because of what the definition says, it comes down to having respect for another persons beliefs and freedoms of expression. Well yes, you could counter act that and state that as one of your freedoms you can talk, yell, make remarks and what not all throughout a person's moment of silence, and that is true. But that's up to you and your morals to decide.

     Now, this particular blog post wasn't for me to rant and rave about how you should be more American and love each other, no. It was to honor today. 9/11. On that day the country was consumed with sadness. The Towers Fell. People Died. We lost family. Children died. But despite all of these horrific things, our country managed to pull together for each other in our time of need. Firefighters, Police, and strangers came to help without being asked. Local food places and stores just handed out water and food without asking to be paid. This is what it means to be American. It means to Love each other, be there for each other, respect each other, and above all not hate each other. Hate is what got us here in the first place. Even when the world around us seems to be crashing down, we need to stand together as one. We are one. Even on days when terrorists aren't attacking, we need to stand together and show the world that, we as Americans, are strong no matter what. You may not like the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, but pray for our Soldiers, they need to know we care. You may not know the people whose house burns down, but pray for the firefighters, they need to know we care. You may not know the person who got robbed, but pray for the police that helped, they need to know we care. You may not know the person in labor, in surgery, or the person who just passed away, but pray for our doctors and nurses, they need to know we care. You may not know the person down the street from you, but even if theyre a stranger, pray for them. We can't be a successful, free country with people hating others and constantly antagonizing others or causing problems. This is not what our Country was founded on. Do not show the enemy our weaknesses.

     September 11, 2001 was a tragic day for the United States of America and though we lost alot of lives, we also gained friendship and strength with our fellow citizens. Please remember those who lost their lives, those who lost loved ones, those who came into help the ones in needs, and those around you every single day. Do not let the struggles of life let you forget what you are blessed with. Everything happens for a reason and when God closes a door, he opens a window and it's your choice whether you crawl out the window or not. May God bless the ones who have lost their loved ones and may the lost loved ones continue to look upon their friends and family from Heaven and continue to guide and protect them. We will always be a strong country. We will always be based on courage, love and strength. We will always be American.

NightsLikeThese

     There are just some nights where I want to stick my foot in my mouth and then I realize there is no rewind button so I have to suck it up and move on. I don't understand men sometimes...I just don't, what I said wasn't bad the person just has strong feelings towards that subject I guess, then I end up being the villian and I can't have a peaceful night because I spend the rest of my night trying to make him feel better. I think it's because men are missing that one part in their chromosomes...

     I want to be so mad sometimes but the feeling of love makes me think things over... I can't be mad, I have to realize that everybody has sore subjects and that one happens to be his. I want to make him feel better, but I also realize that he can't feel better unless he WANTS to feel better, so no matter what I say he will still be upset until he chooses to feel better. Life goes on I suppose... Just makes for one heck of a crappy night. I wanted to say goodnight, I love you and get a message back with the same sort of feeling to it, but you can just sense in the message that his nerves are still on edge. Oh well, tomorrow is another day with different feelings. So goodnight for now, we shall see what tomorrow holds.

Just a note

    Just To inform you, the concept of kindergarten confidence actually came from a motivational speaker named Dion Jordin, not my concept.

Child-likePurity

     People are constantly telling me I shouldn't pursue a career in education because there is nothing out there for me. Blah Blah Blah, is what I have to say to them. Children are my passion and always will be. I shouldn' t have to explain my passions but I will purely for the sake of the nay sayers out there.

     Have you ever met a child that wasn't completely honest, I mean yes they can lie for fear of being in trouble, but if they don't like you you will know it. In my opinion, children have the best sense of people. They know if you're a good person or not and they know if they like you. It is what it is. When everyone is born, they are born with a sort of "child-like purity", they know what they want, they know what they don't want, and they know if they like you are not. You have Bill Cosby's "Kids say the darnedest things" for example. I've never met a kid who didn't tell me the truth.

     My mom loves telling stories about the upfrontness I had when I was little. I've blurted out to her about people not washing their hands, people being fat, and people not being handicapped. She loves to tell one certain story about me though. She said that, when I was little, if I went over to your house and felt comfortable I would immediately take off my shoes... Odd yes, but still. If I wasn't comfortable with the environment or people I would keep my shoes on and wait for us to leave. Kids have amazing minds that people seem to look at with narrow minds. When kids speak to me, I listen. They will tell you truth, it may be blunt and 100% honest, but it is honest. They don't have the concept of "hurt feelings" yet, so if you ask them if your dress makes you look fat and it does, well then you're probably going to get a yes out of them. Don't yell at them for being "mean" or "hurtful" because they weren't trying to be. Don't be mad at them for not telling you what you wanted to hear. If you say be honest, well then they will be honest. There is no gray area. They aren't adults, they aren't going to stab you in the back, they aren't going to lie to your face, and they aren't going to be two faced.

     If during the day they scream and yell at you and say they hate you, don't react negatively. Because at the end of the day, they will still want and need you, they will still need you to tuck them in to bed, check the closet for monsters, and kiss them goodnight. They need you even when you think they're being childish.

     I've always wondered what the world would be like if we still had our Child-Like purity along with our mature minds to think things through... Is that even possible?

    What if we all still had our Kindergarten confidence? If you ask an adult if they can sing, dance, if they look good, if they're confident, if they don't think they are or can do any of those things then you will get a no. But if you think about it, the answer should be yes. Most everybody can sing and dance, it may not be good or in key but you can still sing. Most everybody thinks they look good in the morning when they first get dressed, but they lose those thoughts because they're scared of what somebody else may say or think about the way they look. And if you ask the adult if they're confident they'll say no, because for so long society has told them they suck or they're ugly so many times that they're confidence truly is worn down or simply gone. But if you ask a crowd of kindergartners they'll get up and start singing and dancing to prove you wrong, they will definitely say they look good even if their shoes don't match, and of course they know they're confident because they haven't been worn down yet. So what would happen if we all remained like this? How much more confident would people be? We'd have less shootings, less suicides, and maybe even less murders... Think about it. We need our Kindergarten Confidence back.

     A child is the purest form of humanity. They tell you the truth, not maybe what you want to hear, but what needs to be said or what you asked for. They are truthful and pure and simply my favorite people to be around. So pay attention to your kids when they say something and encourage the fact that they still have kindergarten confidence

So I've been thinking about what to type tonight and I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to talk about my roomie.

     So my roomie. Wow, there's so much to say about her. We've known each other since 7th grade but we really didn't start hanging out till about Freshman year in high school... She's pretty dang awesome. And yes while she did prompt me to write this blog post about her, I'm still going to do it with kindness in my heart.

   She's one of the most Godly people I know. She is so strong in her faith that it's inspirational. She has a wonderful family (Though they are a little crazy sometimes, who can honestly say that their family is normal? And if your family really is normal, how fun is that???) and they love and support her in everything she does.
  
     When we first started hanging out, I was kind of lost in my faith. I mean I still believed in God and still knew he was always there for me, but I was lost. And she basically turned me around. She reintroduced me into churches along with the help of some of my other friends and just got me back on track. She's always there for me and I am always there for her.

     She's one of my best friends and I couldn't ask for anybody better. She can be goofy with me, she can help me through things and she also knows she can slap me out of it when I'm being completely dumb. I love that girl! So this blog is 100% no make believe here :)

     So please continue to pray for strength for the both of us, while we travel on our trek through life :)
    

Don'tDressLikeACarcass.

     We've all heard it. "Oh My gosh! I always attract the sleazy guys never a good one!". Well I would like to lend those girls some information that could possibly help their situation, If you do NOT want to attract the vultures I advise that you do not dress like a Carcass. Just saying... There is no need for you to be wearing short jean shorts that are short enough to be underwear, shirts that are low enough for you to flash the world, and skirts that are short enough for you to show the whole wide world what your mother gave you. I don't understand the concept of dressing in such a way. Maybe it's the pressure to give into what society tells you is "hip", maybe it's because you have a low self esteem, or maybe all you really want is that Vulture to come pick at you like a dead piece of meat. But if it's the first two, I promise there is no reason for a respectable young lady to dress in such a way.

     I understand that society is constantly pressuring girls of all ages to dress older and wear less. It's basically for stores to have marketing tactics. The stores pay the media to portray their slutty clothes as cool, and seeing your favorite store sell something like that and then seeing other girls wearing it, makes you want to give into that. It's like when I said I would never wear Tom's because they were ugly, well I wear them now. I saw them on so many people and in so many ads and the desire to "fit in" because almost unbearable and you start to consider doing/wearing things that you never would have in the first place. Now for those of you who are reading this and are saying "Oh, well I'm unique and I've never wanted to fit into mold" sorry, but you're slightly wrong. Everybody has this passion to be loved and to fit in and to have that "group" you can call yours. And though you aren't aware, your mind tells you that you won't be another clone of society if you only buy 1 pair of Tom's, or 1 pair of Sperry's, or if you buy that over priced Coach purse just because everybody else has one. And buying things like that is okay! There is no reason for you not to buy something you like just to avoid "Having the same thing she has". It shouldn't be an issue, if you like it, buy it. Simple as that. But to dress like a carcass in the name of "fitting in" or "showing off" is a little ridiculous. Do you really think that when you wear your booty shorts and cleavage reaveling shirt, that some guy will walk past you and say "WOW! She has gorgeous eyes and a wonderful personality! I want to date her because of that!", no. Most of the time when they see that, they aren't exactly thinking the most respectable things. You could go as far to say that the thoughts that pop in their head are more along the line of, "DANG! She looks SEXY! (and not in the respectable sexy way that has more to do with your personality and not your body) I bet if I tell her how HOT she looks, that she'll sleep with me within a month!" You may shake your heads and say, "No, they wouldn't say that..." Well honey, when your shorts are practically invisible and your boobs are hanging out, they will most likely be thinking that, or at least thoughts that no respectable man would think about a respectable woman who is portraying herself in a respectable manner...Unless he's blind that is, then he can't see you anyways. All I'm saying about this is, do not let the pressure of your peers, the media, and society force you to be something you're not.

     Now, for those of you who do it for confidence and self-esteem issues, I have something to tell you as well. You do not need to wear such an attire for you to be noticed. Just throw your shoulders back, lift your head up and smile and I promise you'll feel a tiny boost of confidence just from that. There are some things I'll explain about confidence here in a second on a ways down that will explain in greater detail. But I just want you to know that as long as you love yourself you will be able to find a man who loves you back. Yeah, you may encounter some idiots, some failures, and you may even get dumped. But you are to Never Ever let that get you down. There is no reason that a man should define who you are. Never. If you focus on school, living your life, and loving yourself (not in a concieted way) God will bring that perfect person to you in time. But if you cannot love yourself, what makes you think you will have the confidence to love another. If you do not have confidence in what lies inside of you, you will become a welcome mat for all the dumb boys of the world.  You must have confidence in yourself to succeed.

     Ok, so as I said earlier I am going to explain in further detail on how to acquire self-confidence. No, I'm not promising that you will become the most confident person in the world, but what I will say is that if you try hard and focus on your life and not trying to please others, you will grow.
     There are many reasons that a person's self-confidence can be low... Too many reasons to even list, but I will list a few. Weight, Outter Appearances, a history of failures, a history of crappy guys, fear of failure, fear of not being perfect enough, fear of rejection and any fear in general really. If you're reason is an outer appearance issue, then make yourself feel beautiful. There are other ways to making yourself feel beautiful besides wearing promiscuous clothing. If it's a weight problem try and fix it... I'm not saying go on a radical diet, but if you're unhappy with the way you look you have the power to fix it.. Don't say"Oh I don't have time" because you do. Get up earlier and do some crunches, go walk in the evening, or do some jumping jacks, it doesn't have to be expensive. If you don't like the way makeup looks on you when you do it, but you want to wear it, go to a makeup counter in the mall and they can show you how to do things that look good on you for free. If you don't like your hair, get a color or a new cut, don't be afraid of change it can be a good thing. But if you do color or cut your hair, have a professional do it, because if your bestie does it out of a box or just picks up a pair of scissors, she can really mess your self-esteem worse if she totally botches your hair. Wear clothes that fit your body and work with your body, don't alter your body to fit clothes, they are to alter to you. But just try new things, sometimes change can be a wonderful confidence booster! As far as guys go, don't chase after them like a dog after a ball. Like I said, if you focus on your own life, live your life to the fullest, and just be yourself, God will bring the right person along sooner or later. You just have to have the patience. You must also know that you can NOT let a man define you. He must be a compliment and not somebody that rules your life, nor should he feel the need to abuse you. If you're in an abusive relationship get some help and GET OUT. No man or woman should be abusive towards either person. That gets you nowhere. But please don't let a man define you, he is to be your partner and not your master. You are NOT door mat, do not let him walk on you. And last but not least if you fear failure, know that with success comes failure. Do you think Albert Einstein succeeded the very first time he tried something? No. Life is a trial and error sort of thing, so just be patient and roll with the punches. God Loves you.


     And if nothing else sunk into your brain, I still hope that the whole "don't dress like a carcass thing" sunk in at least.

Following Him.

     The title is not to be taken as something of stalkerish intention. It is to be taken as following Christ. I went to Sunday church for the first time in forever this morning and I got absolutely nothing out of it. I'm not saying the church was a bad church, I'm simply saying that it just wasn't clicking with me. I am not questioning my faith, I'm just questioning if church is a must have in the Christian faith? I realize that the Holy Bible states that they encourage the mingling of fellow Christians,  but if you get nothing out of a church and continue to go for just socializing reasons, is that really what the Bible wants? I mean through the next couple of weeks, I will continue to try out new churches and see if I can find one that fits me and my thoughts. But i still have wonders...?

     We ate dinner tonight and after my friends planned on attending night service, but I've never been one to attend night services. I mean I never have before so why would I feel implied to attend tonight? But in my mind I thought that maybe my friends would question my faith for not going to night service. I mean I didn't go to any service for at least two years, but that did not make me any less of a Christian. So, I don't understand the idea that some have that attending church is mandatory. Can you still have your faith and not attend church? Or do some think that you are less Christian for not attending? Just thought I'd share that wonder with you.

     And for those of you who find that attending church is a mandatory thing, please comment and explain why. I've found nothing saying that we MUST attend church or we will be forever heathens. And I'm not saying that that is what you think of those who do not attend church, but I'd really like to know what you think. I just feel that I have just as much faith as those who attend church even though I do not make a regular apperance in a church itself. I read my Bible, I pray to God every night before bed, and I know in my heart that I am saved.

     So those are the things I wonder.

Theology.

     Theology. It's what we went over in the teen class at church today. Some frown and shake their heads at the thought of learning theology, but I think that we should embrace it. They think it should not be taught, that all it is is nonsense. Well, I guess it just depends on your views and how you were raised. My mom is a wonderful woman and she taught me to have an open mind to everybody and everything and though my mind is open, it still has the ability to close to things that I know are harmful and negative. Theology is not one of them. In my opinion, the only reason to be scared of such a topic or teaching is if you don't feel that your faith is strong enough. I feel I have no reason to fear Theology because I know that I love God and I always will.

     In my mind, theology is something everybody should have a chance to learn. Why, you ask? Well, to me Theology is a learning experience. It simply teaches you the ways that other people and other religions think. It gives you validated information to back up your own religious opinions and beliefs with. I understand that everybody has an opinion, but not everybody wants to listen to it. Especially if that opinion is backed up by no facts or truth, if it is not backed up by something of substantial evidence, then that opinion is merely air coming out of some body's mouth. And when I speak I would like to have an opinion that makes people think I actually may know what I'm talking about. I do not want to be perceived at someone who speaks without a brain to mouth filter. I want to have an educated opinion. I want to have reasons to back up the things I say and the things I believe in. Because if I believe in something that somebody else plants into my brain it isn't a personal opinion/thought, it is the branch of what somebody else has put into my mind. It is not personal, it is not mine, it is not my belief.

     So when you come upon the chance to learn of theology or the chance to learn anything new, take it as a learning experience. Let it challenge your faith. But in the process of letting it challenge you, learn something from it to challenge it back with. A belief with no reason behind it, is like a human body without a spine. It is structureless, it has no "umph" for people to see, and it is basically pointless. Yes, maybe you are the one who just got upset because you're thinking about all of you're beliefs that have no structure but yet you think they're brilliant. Let me tell you something, my brother would constantly argue with me and my opinions, telling me they were dumb, false, and unimportant purely for the fact that there was no truth or information to back them up. I became furious with him, time after time, but then I came to realize that he was right. I needed information to my opinions because without the facts I had nothing but a fluff of clouds. It was not a brilliant idea others would listen to, it made me seem young and naive. But now that I have listened to him, I can actually win an argument because I have the facts and back up information to put along with my opinions. Everybody needs structure. Buildings, bodies, even tape has structure. You just have to find the right stuff to use. And if the "right" stuff seems to be a theology lesson, just listen to it, embrace it and learn from it. Let it challenge your faith and then one day when you feel you have all the information you need to stay strong and when you know that God will always be at your side, Challenge the nay sayers in your life. Challenge them.


    My college campus has all sorts of religion. Catholics, Baptists, Buddhists, Methodists, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, and Atheists. I must be able to know what my faith is about and know in my heart that I have my own opinion based upon what I believe is the truth. Please don't take me wrong and think that all the religions I wrote about are not a good religion. Everybody has their own beliefs and I respect that 100%, but if you go to tell me that my religion is not the correct one, I would like you to have some sort of educated opinion to back it up with.

TillDeathDoUsPart

     So for those of you who don't know me, My parental units are divorced. Yeah it sucks but I don't want a pity party. It's just one of those things. God doesn't ever do anything for no reason, there is always a reason behind everything. It happened when I was 11 years old, I know some details but who knows if they're true. I'm kind of at a point in life where when somebody says "I'll tell you when you're older" I want to throw a chair at them and ask, "So you're gonna tell me after you're dead???" Makes no sense to me. I'm an adult, I shouldn't be told that I will be told later because I'm not old enough to hear the truth now. And anything I was told when I was 11 wasn't taken to heart, merely because at that point I was too YOUNG but I also realized that some of the reasons they told me could've been false because they could've been spoken out of anger or resentment towards the other. But now I just want answers, I would like to know why my parents split. Not because I want to take sides. Not because I want to feel sorry for somebody, but because I want to know and deserve to know at least the truth. I've grown up for years with confusion and wonder and now I want some answers. I'm not asking for them to be promptly given to me, but I am at least asking for them to consider telling me within the next few years. I understand if they're hurt or if they want to protect me, but with me being an adult now I should be able to handle anything I ask for. I do not ask this of them to bring out old pains or to dig into the past, I would never want to hurt either of my parents. I just want to know.

     Divorce is something that not only effects the adults, monetary situations, and living situations. If you have animals it effects them, if you have lots of the same friends it effects them, and if you have children it ESPECIALLY effects them.  Kids will wonder if it is there fault and even if you constantly tell them it's not, they still wonder if it is. They try and stay out of your way as much as possible because they're afraid that if they do anything wrong at all that you wouldn't like them and disown them just like you did to your ex-spouse. There is no way to prevent your child from feeling this, there is no way at all except to let them live their life, be there for them, and be civil with your ex. It's one thing to be angry with your ex but you should NEVER EVER let your children see that. If you can't speak to each other, don't. Just do NOT yell at one another with your children present or in ear shot or in a situation where it will get back to them. Never feed them false or degrading information about your ex. Just don't do it.

     I'm not saying that my parents did this because they didn't. They are civil, they talk, and they were constantly there for me. The did all they could seeing as how the situation wasn't ideal. And I applaud them for that. It is very admirable. I just wanted to let all of you know that children do get hurt whether you mean for them to or not. And for all of you parents or adults who intentionally hurt children, you SUCK. 

     I realize this post is so long, but I felt like I just had to write it. I love my parents, I just want the truth. After my parents got divorced my mom married my step-dad. I literally did not like that man. I've learned to respect and even care for him. But when you're 11 years old and you think that your parents have the perfect marriage, then BAM! they're getting a divorce, you become mad at the world. You're mad at them, you're mad at yourself, and you're mad at whoever else comes into the picture. The reason for the last one is because your young mind sees them as replacing whichever parent. And I'm not saying all kids with divorced parents go through this. Some are happy because they didn't like a certain parent and some even use the divorce to their advantage. I mean who doesn't want a double Christmas and double presents? But these are the things and events that happened to ME.

     I love you Mom and Dad. Just sometimes I'm confused and I want to know the whole truth. I want to know if you were unhappy with each other, I want to know the marriage problems, I want to know what y'all did to make each other not love each other anymore. Because though I love you, I want my marriage to last. I want to be that old lady who has been married to her husband for 85 years of her life and is still deeply in love with him. And I understand that sometimes you just can't be with a person anymore, but I just want to know what I need to know to look for in a person so I can BE with them for more than just a few years. I want that fairy tale Love, I want to argue but then realize we were both being dumb and that we still love each other, I want to mean it when I say, "Till Death Do Us Part."

NewBeginnings

    This is my new beginning. The beginning of my blog. The beginning of my journey through life on my own. The beginning of new schooling, new friends, new experiences, new successes, and new failures. Life may not always be the cup of tea that everybody prefers but it's something that we have to experience whether we like it or not. It is your choice to live your life. No one can make it horrible or make it wonderful, that is your choice. Adam Marshall once said "You only live once; but if you live it right, once is enough." So life is what you make it. I've challenged myself to try new things, meet new people, and live my life to the fullest. But, my blog is not to tell people what to do or try and make some inspirational speech. It is to go over the things of my day or anything else I feel like writing about. I may not have correct grammar all the time and my writing skills are not the best but if you care enough to read what I am writing about you probably don't care what myy grammar skills are like. So shall I get started? :)

     Today is my 6th day of college. The first week was all orientation, so classes start in 2 days. Such a feeling. I don't know whether to be super excited or scared. But I think it would be a smart choice to have a healthy dose of both running through my body. It will be an interesting experience though, definitley a change from high school. But, I'm rooming with one of my best friends and so it's been a blast! I love our suitemates and the college is just wonderful. People are friendly and the food is good so that's always a plus.

     I've always thought college would be a scary place. Filled with more cliques and jocks that only want one thing, but in all honesty that's not what I find here. So just a word out to all of those who are entering college or have had the same mental picture that I had, I'm here to tell you that if you go to college for partying and booty you're going to run into things such as that but if you go for a valued education then all things will go well. So please keep in mind that life isn't a horrible thing and that life is what you make it.